I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
