Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
