i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
