So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
