why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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