dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
birth control should be required to get into college
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
