i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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