She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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