I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
