If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
