So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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