Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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