like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
