You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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