What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
