I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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