toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
