Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
