she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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