mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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