True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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