I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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