dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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