In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
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I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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