Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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