I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
