No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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