Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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