i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
