She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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