Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
