the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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