She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
