VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do vagina's smell?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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