He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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