I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
