you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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