I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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