You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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