What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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