Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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