Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
