my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize