If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
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Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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