My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
