So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
