Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
