I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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