Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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