The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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