i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
