I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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