why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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