Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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