He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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