If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
