if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
