Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
