i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize