Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
