Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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